Open Your Eyes the World is Calling
by moonie52
Summary: COMPLETE! REWRITE! After a tragic event Rebecca is relocated to Tulsa to live with her cousins, aunt, and uncle. Everything is going fine—until she meets Dallas Winston and his gang. Johnny and Dallas still alive.
1. Shake

**Disclaimer: **Don't own anything you recognize of course.

**Summary:** After a tragic event Rebecca is relocated to Tulsa to live with her cousins, aunt, and uncle. Everything is going fine—until she meets Dallas Winston and his gang. Johnny and Dallas still alive.

**Open Your Eyes, the World is Calling**

**Shake**

I was shaking harder than I ever had before. I whispered my best friend's name, my parents' names, and cursed my brother's. He had always been a damn fool but he ain't never did nothing like this before. He just couldn't love me. He just couldn't. He didn't have to love me, but he sure shoulda had the sense to leave me the hell alone.

He hadn't been right for a while. Carson had been a difficult kid for a while. He had ADD—meant he couldn't pay attention to nothing for too long. But he was mean—he'd been doin' drugs, drinking, getting half killed all the time. Plus he wasn't too good to us. We was always havin' to tell 'im off.

But Carson had this sorta magnetism 'bout him. He could talk himself outta anything and had this leadership thing. He was dangerous and since I'd always been the good little girl he was a big deal. I wanted to be just like him. Well I wanted to be special, noticed, like he was. I was always off to the sidelines watchin' him take all the glory. He was a charmer if I ever seen one. Always got what he wanted even if he wasn't interested soon after.

My name is Rebecca Carlotta Brown. In biblical times Rebecca was special—and cruel. She shunned her own granddaughter 'cuz when she started her period she wasn't taught the specialness of it. It wasn't like it was her fault. But everyone knew who Rebecca the oracle was. I always thought the name suited Carson better who had been named for Johnny Carson, my parents' idol.

I had a little brother too, Caradog. He was my half brother anyway. His daddy was Welsh and when my parents were separated for a year my old lady got pregnant and had Caradog. He was a shy kid, and a beauty if I ever saw one. Got this dark hair that ran over his forehead and these green eyes that made you wanna stare at 'im for hours. He always had a serious look on his face. You were lucky if you could make him laugh like I could.

Caradog stood next to me, shaking. He'd been close with our mama. I hadn't. I was close with my dad though. We had been pretty happy except for Carson for a while. But now we were standing in all black, my poofy brown hair that was cut to my shoulders tied back and my strange eyes gleaming with hatred for my own flesh and blood. My brother.

Because my brother killed not only my best friend but my parents too and had left me with nothing except him and Caradog.

It was the hardest thing I ever had to do was dropping that first handful of dirt on the coffin. I'd dropped three handfuls that day although one was the second handful not the first. I thought of how earlier the day he was killed I'd gotten mad at my best friends and how I'd cried for my parents to leave me alone 'cuz it wasn't like they paid much attention to me anyhow.

Tulsa was a hot place. Hotter than Pittsburgh, where we'd lived before the murders. They'd caught Carson, of course. Carson Farley Brown in jail. Shoot, was that late. You'd think they woulda gotten him earlier. See, I hated to admit it but I talked about Carson as often as the next person in our family even though I yelled at people for doin' it.

We had to move to Tulsa, Oklahoma. We had some rich family there. The Valances, I think. Caradog would know. That kid remembered everything. But Caradog was still just a kid, only 12. I was 17 whole years old and I never did too well in school. I was damn smart if I wanted to be but I couldn't stand authority. I was smart but I was always forgetting everything. I was never real good at remembered things.

As I stepped into the huge house I gasped. This wasn't for a second like our old house in Pittsburgh. We lived on the shitty side of town there. This was the rich part of town, I could tell. I was still damn mad about Caleb and my parents and no way did this house make up for it.

Caleb had been tiny, only 5 foot. He was shorter than me, and I had always been small for my age. I protected him, he helped me with my homework. We were a strange match but we'd known each other since we were kids. And he was funny in a quirky way. We had our laughs and nobody ever touched him when I was around. I liked being around him. I could forgive that kid anything.

I was sad but I was angrier more'n I was sad. It wasn't fair. Caleb never had the growth spurt he always talked about. He didn't get to be a single thing he wanted to be. My parents were sweet and they never did a single thing wrong. And poor Caradog. I could live with it but he was only little. I always thought of him as a real little kid but he wasn't that young. He was pretty mature too and would always be rollin' his eyes at me and Caleb when we were being stupid.

I was invisible when I first came to Tulsa. I didn't wanna talk to anyone and I didn't wanna be quiet. I didn't even give my teachers a hard time 'cuz my parents always hated it and I wanted them to smile up in heaven not frown.

And Caleb woulda wanted me to be good too. He was always telling me to be good to the teachers. Easy for 'im to say. He was real smart. Teachers didn't get that I was slow at getting stuff and then they would jus be mean about it.

I'd never loved my brother but never before had I hated him this way. I wanted him to die, slow and painful. I wanted him to burn in hell forever.

My cousin's name was Sherri, but half the world called her Cherry 'cuz her hair was real red. There was this thing in Tulsa, Soc and greaser warfare. Cherry was a Soc. She helped the greasers out some and hated the stupid warfare. She said the difference wasn't only money, it was feeling. I said it was that Socs didn't know what real life was and what the real world was like. People used to killed or beaten up or arrested in my old neighbourhood all the time and it was natural.

The difference was that the police didn't give a shit if the poor kids were beatin' each other up but they sure did make sure the rich kids weren't killing each other.

Cherry wasn't real concerned 'bout me and certainly didn't come to hang out with me. She was nice but she was so concerned 'bout her reputation. I didn't really care and the kids who'd heard about what happened to me whispered as I pass. But I held my head damn high. I was too proud to go through this. I was always proud but I was used to hearing shit about me in the hallways 'cuz me and Caleb were never really popular.

I was standing at my locker trying to get it open, kicking it, hitting it. But nothing was working until a kid came up, he couldnta been too much older than me, behind me and slid it open for me.

"What they hell," I exclaimed angrily, "Was that?"

"Um, I was helping you open your locker," I turned around to see a buff guy with pale blonde hair, small sharp teeth, and blue eyes. I guessed I had looked a bit like a greaser girl or some'n with my heavy, brown, leather jacket that had belonged to Caleb and a pair of Carson's old jeans that I'd stolen two years ago because this guy was no doubt a "greaser". Not that I cared. In the end it was all the same: We're born, life fucks us over, we die.

"Whatever. Don't help me again, got it?"

"Why not?"

"Because I don't need your goddamn help, punk. You don't even go to this school, loser."

"My name's Dallas." Ever heard the expression "saw red"? Well that's exactly what I saw. His hand was stuck out as if I was supposed to shake it. I raised my eyebrow, something Carson has taught me when we were little.

"What am I supposed to do with that? Doesn't matter, just fuck off, asshole."

"My, my, such language."

"You want me to beat you up?"

A guy in a wheelchair and this other kid, pretty handsome for a kid, with blonde-ish hair and auburn roots came up behind this Dallas kid and tapped him on the shoulder. I'd heard about this kid, Johnny Cade. He was almost killed the year before. He was the one who killed Cherry's boyfriend, Bob, and—well it was a long story, but in the end his back was bust and he couldn't walk no more.

"Hey Johnnycake," this Dallas character said to the boy, "This is my friend…I'm sorry what's your name?"

"I ain't your friend. My name's Rebecca don't forget it but hopefully you won't ever talk to me again so you won't have to remember anyway," I was pissed. It's funny how one moment you can be perfectly fine and the next you are beyond the Valley of the Mad and climbing up Fury Mountain. I didn't know why I was so mad then but now I realize why. Dallas reminded me a whole lot of my big brother. But there was some magnetism about bad boys. I wish I had thought about Carson then. But I didn't.

A few weeks went by and I thought Dallas had gotten the picture pretty clear--you know, that I hated him--but I was mistaken. I had no idea how mistaken I'd be.


	2. Whisper

**Disclaimer:** Alrighty, you know the deal. I'm not making any money off of this story, anything you recognize belongs to S.E. Hinton, etc.

**Open Your Eyes, the World is Calling You**

**Whisper**

I couldn't sleep in the Valance house. I had dreams of Carson, my parents, Caleb, Caradog, and of all people Dallas. My dreams were feverish and I never got to sleep for too long before I woke up again, thinking of some other person who I knew slipping away from me.

Life was pretty uneventful. I went to school, was quiet, answered questions when I was asked, did my homework. I tried to sleep once in study hall but I couldn't no matter how tired I was. Nothing special was happening until one day Dallas was at the school again. He was picking up Johnny and Ponyboy with another guy who had these ridiculous sideburns. I cringed…Carson had had sideburns.

"Ah, my good friend, Rebecca," Dallas came up to me, smirking widely.

"What do you want, Dallas?" I was still angry inside but I bottled things up like that sometimes. Most of the time I just got mad when I was mad but since I had very few people to get mad at I had to bottle things up.

"Just wanted to know if maybe you wanted to go to a movie with me or something," he looked so cocky like there was no way in hell I could ever say no to him. It wasn't as hard as it seemed.

"Hmm," I replied, "Let me think about this. No way in hell."

"C'mon, I ain't that bad," he said and his friend snorted. He was pushing Johnny in his wheelchair. Dallas blocked my way. I wanted to push him. Hard.

"Yes," I said, not even blinking, "You are. Now leave me alone before I push you down a set of stairs." I don't know why I was so mad. It coulda been that he was in my nightmares and in my dreams I cared.

One day Cherry crept into my room and sat on my bed. I sat up and blinked, staring at her.

"His name is Dallas Winston. Don't go near him. He's trouble."

"How did you know about Dallas?" I was still tired, sad, fallen.

Cherry sighed and put her hand on my arm which I pulled away from promptly, "You call out his name in your sleep, babe."

"Don't call me that."

"Yeah. Well me and Randy are sneaking out tonight to go to the Curtis house. You wanna come?"

"Who are the Curtises?"

"They're a family. One of the Curtises, Ponyboy, was there when Bob got killed. He's a sweetheart." Cherry had one of those real soft voices and deep warm eyes. She was the kind of person I would have hated at my old school. She was my cousin. I never really did like dreamy people. Sure, I got along with them fine but they were never there. I wasn't a dreamer. I liked fact, but I was good with advice.

"Sure, I'll come. Might as well. Can't sleep anyway. I think I met Ponyboy at school. Maybe one of them will have a cure for nightmares," I grimaced sourly. Cherry and me were real different. Not anything alike in fact. She was beautiful, smart, popular, and dreamy. I was average looking with nothing outstanding 'bout me, 'cept maybe my eyes, a little too chubby with too big of boobs, and short. I wasn't smart. Well I was. I used my common sense whenever I needed to. I just didn't learn things too fast and I could never remember 'em. And I definitely wasn't popular. I knew Cherry, and her friends but I only liked Cherry and one of her other friends, Randy.

But alas, they were still Socs. They didn't know anything about living. Cherry said things were hard for Socs too but they weren't. The Socs didn't know what it was like and casually say someone got pregnant or married or some other thing the night before.

I moaned softly, inaudibly. My head was throbbing and my eyes were threatening to close and my brain was threatening to shut off. Jesus, I needed some help. I couldn't sleep without going into a state of nightmares that I couldn't see again without wanted to die.

As we reached the Curtis house I felt like my head was going to explode. Every step made it pound angrily. I lifted one eyebrow at myself which is extremely weird. I think it was just habit.

We knocked on the Curtis's door and Dallas Winston answered. He wasn't wearing a shirt, just a pair of tight jeans.

I pushed my way past him only mumbling, "Talk to me and die," as I passed and pushing him into the door.

"Rebecca, Rebecca," he smirked, which made me want to smack him even harder, "Hey Cherry, Randy. Looking for the Curtis boys?" I saw Cherry give him a cold look. Apparently we hated him the same amount. He cussed loudly as his cigarette fell out of his mouth and I started laughing but then stopped 'cuz it hurt to laugh. Dallas just glared at me.

A huge guy, all muscles, stepped in from what I assumed to be the kitchen. He nodded at Cherry and Randy and asked me who I was.

"My name's Rebecca Brown. I'm Cherry's cousin. Don't call me Rebecca. If you really need to speak to me I answer to 'GIRL!' and Becca. People always used to call me Becca all the time. I'm from Pittsburgh," I sure did talk a lot for someone who didn't like to. When I said "people" these days it always seemed to mean Caleb or my parents or Carson.

Another boy came out from that general direction. He was real good looking, like a movie star. Sodapop, I knew it had to be. I'd heard about the girls who went down to the gas station just to look at him. How pathetic can you get? I mean he was good looking, but that's a bit desperate.

"Hi," he grinned, "I'm Sodapop." Cherry told me Sodapop could make anyone smile. I didn't think he could make me smile but he could actually. He stuck out his hand just like Dallas had but I shook it this time. Seems like the only greaser who really pissed me off was Dallas. Maybe I was just pissed off natural.

"I'm Rebecca but don't ever call me that. My best friend used to call me Becca, and I guess I been asking people to call me that. Hey, you guys got some aspirin? My head is killing me. Better yet, you got a cure for nightmares?" I fell down into a chair, curling up. I'd always been able to make myself at home anywhere, even if I wasn't told to.

I heard Dallas snicker as if this was the most hilarious thing in the world. Sodapop smiled too.

"Sorry, it isn't that funny, it's just Ponyboy, our youngest brother, when he got nightmares I'd have to go and sleep in the same bed as him. So you know, that might work for you, but I doubt it and I wouldn't want ya to be uncomfortable or nothing." But I didn't hear a word of Sodpop's speech; I was out cold.

The next morning I woke up in my bed at the Valance house and it was 6:00 am. It was the beginning of Christmas break. Because of this I walked around town. I didn't know then it was stupid to walk alone.

I got a few cat-calls as I walked past. People often mistook me for beautiful because I had nothing _ugly_ about me. I was just plain looking. There wasn't anything real striking about me, as I said before. My eyes, maybe, but people rarely looked at them unless they were right up close.

Everything was fine except for the cold. It was the end of December and pretty cold. I tugged my jacket harder around me and felt a hand on my shoulder and nearly flung my arm back and hit whoever it was in the face.

But, unfortunately, I didn't. That day I found a new respect for Dallas Winston because without I wouldn't be here today. Not that here is anywhere special. But if he hadn't come I would have been dead.

**FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE READ TEX AND THAT WAS THEN, THIS IS NOW**:

Did anyone think the hitchhiker in Tex might have been Mark from That Was Then, This is Now? I thought it might be because it seemed like him and Miss Carlson would be Cathy. Just a theory. Think I might be right?


	3. Blink

**Dislclaimer:** See before chapters.

**Open Your Eyes, the World is Calling**

**Blink**

In my life I have many times been scared. When I was little and scared there were monsters in my closet, when I was scared that Carson would come after me next, when I was scared my parents and best friend were indeed dead.

I have many times been scared and of all the times this time certainly was in my top 10.

I was just walking, walking down the street. I was walking slowly when suddenly I was completely surrounded. I tried to move backwards, get away, but only succeeded in bumping into someone. He was a Soc, which surprised me. He grabbed my hair, pulled me back, softly kissed my neck, and pushed me forward.

I was screaming louder than I ever had. I could scream real loud. Seriously almost deafened someone once. "Scared, greasy whore? Maybe if you weren't such a greaser you wouldn't get beat up, then you'd never be scared."

I glared at him. He looked like Carson which made me want to kill him. I was pissed. Just like that I had made the transition from scared outta my mind to completely pissed off. I couldn't take all of these guys. There were five of 'em and I wasn't all that strong. Sure, I could hold my own but I couldn't take on five guys!

I was still scared. I could die and I knew it. No one would be coming to save me. I could be killed or raped or left there to suffer. The sad thing was all I could think of was how Dallas would smirk if he saw me so scared.

Suddenly the guy who was practically on top of me was flung out of my vision and all I could see was a brown blur run past followed by five other figures who started beating up the other Socs. I ran over to a wheelchair which sat on the side: Johnny Cade's. I knew then who it was and I almost laughed because of what I'd been thinking only a minute before.

So it was that gang with Dallas and the Curtises. I barely knew Johnny but I let him hug me as I sat in his lap on his chair. I was bawling, not something I like to admit. I had a lot of pride. When I got over it I saw who everyone was. And then I realized who the brown blur was: Dallas. Why had he saved me? I was constantly telling him to fuck off when I saw him.

The Socs went off in their car and the rest of the guys came up to me. I had decided to sit on the ground since I didn't want Johnny getting any ideas, even in my desperation. I never could get my mind on the important stuff. It was a curse I'd had since I was a kid.

Ponyboy came up to me and ask me if I was alright.

I smiled politely and nodded. This was the dreamy kid Cherry was always talking about. I didn't really get along with dreamy kids. The funny looking kid with the sideburns who hadn't ever introduced himself came up too. He introduced himself as Two-Bit Mathews. He was the clown of the group, I could tell when instead of shaking my hand he lifted me up into a huge hug.

An anti-social, angry looking guy was standing next to Sodapop. He interested me, as most people do. I was a writer back then and I was interested by this group. They were all so different. Darrel, the father figure, Two-Bit, the clown, Sodapop, everyone's best friend, Dally, the bad egg, Johnny, the pet, Ponyboy, the dreamy kid who was a little bit of everyone. And then there was this kid, who I later knew to be Steve, the mechanic and Sodapop's best friend.

I walked right up to him and stuck my hand out for him to shake it. He simply stared at it at first and then took it to shake. I smiled approvingly.

"Thanks for coming and getting me, you guys." It really had meant a lot to me. Nobody ever saved my life except for Caleb. How could so many things remind me of him, of all of them? I just wanted them to be back. I couldn't laugh without thinking it isn't right and stopping. And it was ALL my fault.

When I got back to the Valance house I knew something was wrong. I always knew when some'n was wrong right away even if everyone was smilin' the whole time. I couldn't remember things good and I didn't know a lot but I knew what I know, all right. It's like the something bad feeling is in the atmosphere.

I stared at my cousin who was softly hugging her little sister, Kathleen.

"What's wrong?" I was shaking and tears had filled my eyes. The always reading Caradog wasn't there.

"It's Caradog," Cherry answered, "He's in the hospital."

"Oh my baby, my poor poor baby. Cherry can't you take me there, please? Because you love me forever and always, please. I need to see him. I need to see my little brother." At this point I was plainly bawling.

She did end up driving me there and I ran in faster than I'd ever run before and I wasn't too fast. I ran up to the desk, squishing my boobs into the counter.

"My brother, Caradog Rowley, what's wrong with 'im?"

"He's sick, miss. He's sick. You can go in and see him if you want to. Room 212, just down the hall." And I quickly walked into that room and the sight that I saw made my heart break.

Caradog was lying there on the bed, deathly pale. I was crying and I covered my mouth. His green eyes were barely open and his dark hair was lying over his forehead in sweaty wisps. My auntie and uncle were sitting in chairs next to him.

"Caradog, my baby. Are you okay? What happened hunny?"

"I collapsed. Becca, I have cancer. I have cancer. I'm gonna die." Caradog was always sensible and he never worried or was scared. Even on the night of the murders he was the one who remembered to call the fuzz. He was always calm. I was always the nervous wreck but today Caradog looked frightened beyond belief.

"It's gonna be okay, baby, I promise. I promise," I whispered. But in my head I was saying, "I can't lose you too…" My aunt and uncle had left the room. I was moving the wisps of hair off of his forehead. I slowly kissed the palm of his hand.

"He never loved me. My dad, I mean. Mama only named me after him because she was like that. She was always really nice, wasn't she? Even when Carson when off the rails she was always so concerned about him. I loved that about her." It was funny how these are the things I said I always hated about her. She always defended Carson and I could never really understand why she took his side. Or why she loved me less.

"You know," he commented, "We all thought you and Caleb would get married when you were older. He loved you in every way possible and it killed him you couldn't see that, but he never loved you any less."

I hadn't ever known that Caleb loved me. "Caradog, kid, you're the wisest 13-year-old I know. You're smarter'n me and I'm 17."

"Never. You're so much smarter and you have no idea. You get things a lot deeper than me. And you know things that no one ever does. Plus, you're the only person I know who says that whole thing about the Socs and greasers and why they're different. And you accepted mom and dad's deaths before I ever did. I still don't and here I am dying myself."

"Don't say that, Caradog. You ain't allowed to die. You were always more of a brother'n Carson ever was. I love you, kid." His eyes softened, out of their usual cold and factual mood.

"I love you too. I don't have much longer. Only a month and then I'll probably die. I'm not strong like you are. I can't make it through this."

The remaining time I had with Caradog was the shortest time in my life and it killed me.

**uma- **Aw thank you. I've never rocked socks before hehe.

**Gena-Curtis-Scott-** Haha don't worry when people actually like this story I wouldn't dare end it. Something very special is gonna be said from OTH in the last chappie. See if you can pick it up!;)

**SodapopandDallyareMINEZ-** I feel so proud of myself for guessing that! Woot, aren't I awesome? I have a feeling all the books are connected but I can't figure out how Rumble Fish is. Do you know? And I'm rewriting it because I just wasn't happy with it anymore. I hated my writing at the end there so I'm going to fix it.

**XoXoXOutsiderChickXoXoX- **Thanks. Dally/Becca forever, girl!


	4. Scream

**Disclaimer: **Most of the characters are S.E. Hinton's and the song belongs to Alphaville.

**Open Your Eyes the World is Calling**

**Scream**

"Cardog," I whispered, blinking and rubbing my eyes, "You awake?" I had fallen asleep. I saw Caradog's eyes were open and he still looked sick but he was reading a thick book, To Kill a Mockingbird. It was his favourite book.

"Hey sweetie, how are you?"

"I'm fine, Becca," he replied, furrowing his brows and concentrating on his book. He was already half way done and I knew he hadn't been reading it earlier. He was a real fast reader.

"Becs," he said suddenly, "Will you be sad?"

"Of course I will, little buddy. I love you." I was _already_ sad. It hurt to lose one more person who I loved but Caradog was the perfect little brother. He filled in all my spaces. He was smart and he remembered all I forgot. And he always knew when I didn't understand what someone was talking about even if I was nodding. He always knew how to explain things to me.

Softly I started singing. I'm an average singer. I'm not making anybody cover their ears but I'm not amazing. Average, like everything else about me.

_"Let's start in style, let's dance for a while _

_Heaven can wait we're only watching the skies _

_Hoping for the best, but expecting the worst _

_Are you gonna drop the bomb or not _

_Let us die young or let us live forever _

_We don't have the power, but we never say never _

_Sitting in a sand-pit, life is a short trip _

_The music's for the sad men. _

_Can you imagine when this race is won _

_Turn our golden faces into the sun _

_Praising our leaders, we're getting in tune _

_The music's played by the, the mad men _

_Forever young, I want to be forever young _

_do you really want to live forever, forever and ever _

_Forever young, I want to be forever young _

_do you really want to live forever? Forever young _

_Some are like water, some are like the heat _

_Some are a melody and some are the beat _

_Sooner or later they all will be gone _

_why don't they stay young _

_It's so hard to get old without a cause _

_I don't want to perish like a fading horse _

_Youth's like diamonds in the sun _

_and diamonds are forever _

_So many adventures couldn't happen today _

_So many songs we forgot to play _

_So many dreams swinging out of the blue _

_We let them come true _

_Forever young, I want to be forever young _

_do you really want to live forever, forever and ever _

_Forever young, I want to be forever young _

_do you really want to live forever, forever and ever _

_Forever young, I want to be forever young _

_Do you really want to live forever?"_

Softly I kissed my little brother's head. I'd been there the entire week and we'd had some long conversations about nothing and everything and all that's in between.

"Rebecca, when I die," Caradog started and I softly shook my head, "When I die I need you to stay true to your _real_ friends. I need you to figure out who they are and stay with them. The Socs aren't real people and they will betray you as soon as they get the chance." And I knew I would never hear my brother's voice again. I contemplated his final words. His death wasn't particularly dignified. He died no hero, except to me.

I started to cry and whispered, "Forever young." Before the nurses and doctors started taking him away. I was crying softly in the corner. When I cried I let out big gulping sobs and my eyes got all piggy and my face got all red and splotchy. It wasn't pretty.

Subconsciously I remembered someone coming and bringing me back to the Valance house. I'm not sure who they were or what I'd done to them to make them do this for me.

The funeral, a few days later, didn't have many people involved in it. Not too many people knew Caradog or me. The Andersons, Randy and his family, the Valances, and a few other Soc families I didn't know. The greasers, all seven of them, sat stiffly in the back. They all looked solemn, even Sodapop who I never knew had any other expression than happy.

"Caradog," I said, my voice already cracking, "Was an angel. He saved my life so many times and sometimes it was just with one look. He rarely got mad and never raised his voice. He was the perfect little brother and really really sweet. Caradog was never like anyone else I'd ever known. I was never jealous of him or scared of him and I loved him more than I ever loved my full brother. I was only five when he was born and I remember the day they brought him home. Both me and my brother were born in the middle of the night but my mom went into labour with Caradog at 12 in the afternoon and he was born two hours later. He was peaceful. He was my everything and we filled in each other's imperfections. I loved him. I still do." My voice was raggedy and terrible now and I was getting splotchy face syndrome again.

Later, at the reception, I went over to the guys. I nearly fainted from lack of sleep and food and from just being so empty. Ponyboy put his hand on my shoulder and just patted it sympathetically. I hated it when people were sympathetic. None of the boys really knew what I was goin' through. I mean even after the Curtis parents died the brothers always had each other. Now I was all alone in a field. Like being in the middle of a circle and having nothing to do but sway.

Only Dallas truly understood what I was going through and he simply stood there looking as if he was recounting painful memories himself. He interrupted all the other boys by leading me to my room upstairs and placing me in bed. He looked at me with a look of something completely different from any other looks I'd ever seen before. Softly he turned on my tape player and "Your Ex-Lover is Dead," by Stars.

"When there's nothing left to burn you have to set yourself on fire," I whispered with my voice breaking halfway through the quote I recognized as the beginning of "Your Ex-Lover is Dead."

Dallas left the room quietly and I drifted off into a dreamland I never wanted to come out of.

**AN- **MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY! I hope yours was awesome. Here is a Christmas present, please review, that can be yours to me .


	5. Fall

**Disclaimer: **Don't own it, you know it.

**Open Your Eyes, the World is Calling**

**Fall**

The next morning I woke up and I had forgotten everything. My tape player was now playing the very end of "What Sarah Said," and everything came back. I nearly cried. I noticed the black smears on my pillow and groaned as someone started yelling from downstairs. I was unsure of a helluva lot of stuff that morning but I knew I had the mother of all headaches and someone yelling wasn't helping.

I recognized two of the voices as my aunt's and my cousin's but the third was a male and it wasn't at all like my uncle's. My Uncle Ted had a very distinct voice and he hardly ever raised his voice because he never had to. All he had to do was give you a look and it'd make you shut your mouth.

Then I realized whose voice the third one was: Dallas fuckin' Winston.

I groaned again but inside I was smiling. I remembered what Dallas had done for me the night before.

"You can't see her," shrieked my Auntie Lisa, "She's asleep! And you're trash!"

"But she'll want to see me! I know she will," replied Dallas, not as loud and what was that in his voice? Desperation. I sub-consciously remembered that the next day was Christmas Eve. I'd already bought all my presents but hadn't wrapped them. I put my hair up into a ponytail, pulled on a pair of jeans and a tank-top plus a zip-up sweatshirt, and wiped the running make-up from underneath my eyes and walked clumsily down the stairs. I was really tired.

"Hey Dallas," I said, "Let him in. He's my friend."

"But—but—but," Aunt Lisa protested snootily, "He's a hood!"

"I have nothing against greasers and even I can't stand this guy," Cherry agreed.

"Let him in and don't fight with me today," I growled. PMS and losing a family member just don't go well. I was pretty pissy, especially since it was 1:00 p.m. and nobody had woken me up and I hadn't eaten anything.

My aunt just stood there with her mouth open and let Dallas in slowly and as if in a dream. I'd never spoken to her like that before but what did she expect that day?

"You could have called," I snapped at the tall boy, "I was sleeping. And I have a headache. Waking up to yelling did not help." He followed me through the house and I slipped on my slippers.

"Bad mood this morning?" He smirked. I hated his smirk.

"Yes," I replied simply.

"And since when was I your friend? You've never called me that before," Dallas was being cocky again. I almost kicked him so hard where the sun don't shine that he wouldn't be able to have kids but decided against it. We went into the kitchen and I poured myself a bowl of cereal.

"You've been my friend since you helped me yesterday, alright? Now leave me alone before I kick you so hard you won't be able to have any kids."

"Ooo, threatening me?"

"Yes," I barked and took a big bite of Frosted Flakes.

"Well you better not kick me that hard," I was sitting on the counter and he put his arms on each side of me so our faces were really close together, "Those kids could be yours." I pushed him softly on the forehead but blushed and smiled. Did he know how I really felt? Oh God, I hated myself for saying that.

"You wish," I replied icily and finished my cereal, slipping under his arms to plop the bowl into the sink. I looked out the window at my face. Verdict: I looked like shit.

"Let's go to the Curtises," I said, exchanging my slippers for my Converse high tops, "I mean, we all know how much I like Sodapop. Maybe he'll let me give him a lap dance." Inside I was laughin' my ass off at the look on Dally's face. He looked about ready to kill me, or Sodapop. I was lyin' of course. I liked Soda just fine, but he was too shallow for me, or some'n.

Truth is, I had no idea why I didn't like Sodapop. He seemed like the perfect boyfriend. I think maybe he seemed too touchy feely or too lovey dovey or some'n. I didn't like mushy boyfriends. They annoyed me. I liked real conversations and hated all that mush. Ew, mush. Just thinking about it makes me want to heave.

"So what are you doing here, anyway?" I asked Dallas as I got into Buck Merrill's T-Bird. I got into the driver's seat and Dally gave me a look like I was some kind of alien.

"Just wanted to check on you," he replied, cocking one eyebrow, "What the hell are you doing?"

"Dallas Winston, I've driven with you before, I ain't getting' into the passenger's seat when you're the only other person around to drive." Which was true. He was a complete maniac when he drove.

"Well, come on then, gimme the keys." Surprisingly, he handed them to me. I was shocked for a second before I smirked and started the car.

"Why Dallas Winston," I commented when we were about halfway there, "I do declare you have a soft spot for me." I looked over at the blonde with a smile and saw he was smiling a little too. He sure did look good when his hair fell in his eyes like that. Wait, what am I thinking? I think I just need to concentrate on driving…

"Why would you say that?"

"'Cuz you do. I can tell. You're always looking at me and you never punch me like you would anyone else except of course, for Johnny, and you let me drive."

"What if I did have a soft spot for you?" He had whispered the words in my ear and I could feel his breath on my neck. I tried to concentrate on driving or other things. For some reason I remembered the time a cousin from the other side of my family was rambling on about something when I was asking her advice. Oh yeah, because she was talking about making out with a guy in a car when he was driving.

I didn't look at Dallas but I knew he was still right there next to me. I so badly wanted to kiss him and when we pulled up to the Curtis house I just turned the engine off and sat there. He was still right next to my ear and his hand was on my knee.

"Dallas," I said, softly. I didn't want to say no. I wanted to jump his bones right then and there but I knew I couldn't. I was still in mournin' for my little brother and I didn't want Dally to think that was why I was screwin' him. Plus, I didn't want to lose my virginity in a car, thank you very much.

Yeah, I was still a virgin. Most people didn't believe it. Our neighbourhood hadn't been the richest and most of the girls there barely made it to 14 without having sex but I guess I'd never really needed it. I didn't have that many boyfriends either; I didn't need a man to function.

But Dally's lips were on mine in the most gentle of kisses which surprised me. He tasted like smoke and something that couldn't be named. It was simply the taste of boy.

"Dallas," I repeated, this time it was just to say his name, not a warning like the last had been.

We both stepped out of the car and he smiled as nice as Sodapop. Maybe it was even nicer 'cuz his were just so rare. You rarely ever saw Dallas Winston really smile. He put his arm around me and I had to stop myself from leaning into him. Yeah, Dallas Winston was just the kind of boy I'd always wanted.

I didn't think me and Dally were together. But it just kind of happened. It happened in the moment that we stepped in and Two-Bit just knew and Darry smiled knowingly, pulling out the paper, and Sodapop danced with glee.

It just happened like most things do.

**A/N-** There you go. Just another chapter. Hope you like it. They get together…I think. Not as romantic as in the last one but I'm not a hopeless romantic and neither is Becca so it fits. I think this chapter should go to Uma, because she's been here since the beginning. I'd also advise all of you reading and liking this story to please review or, I dunno, I could maybe…NOT WRITE FOR YOU GUYS ANYMORE! MUAHAHAHAHA!


	6. Run

**Disclaimer:** Get it into your head: I do not own anything you recognize.

**Open Your Eyes, the World is Calling**

**Run**

"Hey Ponyboy," I said and slipped into the seat next to him. He was the only one at the Curtis house, an unusual occurrence and he was reading as usual so he simply grunted at me in response.

"What are you reading?" He put his book down and sighed and I knew I had succeeded in annoying him out of his reading funk.

"It's called _To Kill a Mockingbird_, ever read it?"

"No," I said as tears stung my eyes again, "I've heard of it though. It was Caradog's favourite book. You know you kinda remind me of him? But you're real dreamy when Caradog always got right to the fact of the matter." Ponyboy was looking at me apologetically and I nodded.

"You miss him?"

"Everyday," I replied, and gave him a small smile.

"I don't know what I'd do without Sodapop or even Darry or any of the gang for that matter. We all have a role and—"

"You all fit together," I finished for him. It was true. Everyone in that group had a reason to be there. Johnny was the pet, the one who kept Dallas human. Without Johnny I wouldn't ever have Dally.

Ponyboy was the smart one. He was the kid who was gonna make it somewhere and he was the kid that the rest of the gang was going to be proud to say they knew when they were younger when he was some famous doctor or something.

Darry was easy—the dad. He was the leader and took care of everyone, making sure they had a place to sleep and were hidden from the cops.

Sodapop was everyone's best friend and the one who you talked to when you had a problem. He just was. Steve was his real best friend, of course, but Soda helped out everyone and anyone.

Dallas, my Dally, was the bad boy, the drama. He was the one who provided the stories that you tell to your grandkids, once they got old enough, about their Uncle Dally. He was the person you talked about in uncomfortable silences and the one who kept you on your toes and made all the interesting things.

Steve was the one who equalized everything. He was a pretty good guy, actually. He had a lot of guts and was never scared of anything.

Two-Bit was last, but not least. He was the entertainment. I'm certain they'd all have gone insane without him and he made them all remember that there's still fun to be had. There's always fun with Two-Bit.

"I know what you mean. Caradog and my other brother, Carson, they kind of filled up the empty spaces. I never told y'all about Carson, now did I?" Ponyboy shook his head and I sighed. Talking about Carson was hard.

"Well," I smiled slowly, "We used to be really close. He was a real cute kid, all blonde hair and blue eyes, but then he became a teenager. You know, at first I didn't know what was happening to him and we never yelled and fought like we did in that last year. He got into drugs and drinkin' and that. He was violent too and pretty mean. I don't think he even realized it though. He acted like he was fuckin' God's gift to Earth. Had that cockiness 'bout him and if you knew him you would understand why. He always got his way and could talk himself outta anything. Anyways, he killed my best and pretty much only friend and my parents."

"What a pleasant story," Ponyboy said numbly. I laughed at the look on his face and patted his shoulder.

"I'ma tell you what I always told my best friend: Life is hard and getting over things, well that's what makes us human." I smiled and faintly remembered Carson but he was like a ghost to me now. I realized I had everything I wanted, something I'd barely known back in my old town.

"Ghosts," Ponyboy muttered.

"Ghosts," I repeated, "They don't have to be dead." I looked at the kid. He was gonna break a hundred hearts and he probably wouldn't even know it. I grinned, a real, nice, big grin, and ruffled his short-ish brown hair.

Steve, Sodapop, and Dallas came in then. I grinned at them and walked over giving Dally a nice kiss on the lips and hugged him right 'round the waist and exclaimed, "Up for a game of poker?"

Ah, how I loved those words.

When I came in I heard my aunt crying in great, dramatic sobs. I heard her saying something too…It was about me, but why? She was talking about how all my no-good friends were hoods and she wanted to send me to a girls' home! No, no, no, I can't go to a girls' home, I _can't._

I went up the stairs as quietly as possible and gathered a few of my things. Pulling together all the necessities, plus $400 cash I went back downstairs and crept softly out of the house.

I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to leave but I'd heard about those girls' homes. I couldn't go to one. I wouldn't survive.

I ran softly, sub-consciously going to Two-Bit's, thinking he's the one with a car. Don't tell anyone, don't tell anyone, don't tell anyone. I knocked on the door and nearly cried out to God that he was home and sober.

Had I overreacted? I wasn't sure but in the end I knew I was gonna hafta leave. Those girls' homes…they're scary. I'd be killed, for sure. I wasn't even sure I was going to be sent to one, but I couldn't take the chance.

"Two-Bit," I said, grabbing him by the shoulders, more to steady myself than anything else, "I need you to take me to the train station. Don't ask questions, don't try and find me. Please, I need you to do this for me." The look on his face was surprisingly serious and I hugged him real hard. Two-Bit had been a good friend.

We were driving in silence, my bag bouncing idly against my leg. I was looking out the window, looking at Tulsa for the last time. The drive-in, the lot, everything in happiness and loneliness at the same time. I imagined Dallas sleeping at the Curtises or his own house, I imagined Steve and Soda having a game of cards, Ponyboy reading and laughing with Johnny. I imagined Darry smiling one of those knowing smiles from the kitchen and smiled. Goodbye, I thought, I love you all.

When we got there Two-Bit gave me a rough hug and whispered in my ear, "It's a sin we're losing a beautiful girl like ya. We'll all miss ya. Don't you be going forgetting us now. Dally'll miss ya but I'll tell him you love him, alright." I just nodded and tried not to cry.

I bought a random ticket. Any ticket woulda been fine but when I got it I realized it was to Pittsburgh. I smiled. I was going home. Maybe if I was feeling nice I'd go and visit Carson.

"Home," I whispered and almost started to cry as I got on the train, Dallas's smiling face on my eyelids and Two-Bit's car driving away in the distance. Of course Pittsburgh wasn't home anymore. Tulsa was the place I'd fondly remember my first real kiss, my first proper boyfriend who wasn't just trying to get in my pants.

Goodbye home. Goodbye Soda and Steve, Darry, Ponyboy, Johnny, Two-Bit. Goodbye Dallas, I love you. Goodbye. How I hate that word.

**A/N-**Alrighty there you go. Have a happy new year! And review!


	7. Dance

**Disclaimer:** You know the drill, I don't own anything you recognize.

**A/N-**Little bit of sexualness in this chapter. Be aware.

**Open Your Eyes, the World is Calling**

**Dance**

**Seven years later…**

"Rebecca," I winced at the use of my full name, "We need you waiting. The poles are all taken up and Kat didn't show up and isn't answering her phone. Think you can do it?"

"Yeah, I'm not stupid," I growled back at my boss. He was tall and scrawny with wiry, grey hair and a terrible attempt at a moustache. He always smelled like cigars and grass.

I went to waiting, eager to get away from the gross stench that encompassed my boss, Earl. I glanced around, vaguely recognizing a couple of guys, who were talking and not watching the girls. I walked over to Mike, big, beefy guy, and a regular and took his order. I hated him because he was a pervert but he was also a good tipper so I tolerated it.

I walked behind the guys that were talking. Who comes to a strip club to talk? The one who looked older looked over at me. I smiled, and dipped to pick something up so they could look down my shirt. Working here still made me feel dirty though. I hated it, but it brought in the money. Then I recognized the guy and nearly fell over. Dallas Winston and it took all of me not to scream out his name and start kissing him.

I looked up at the mirror. I had changed in seven years. At the age of 24 I looked sexy, not the scared little girl I used to be. My boobs were even bigger and I was skinny. I hadn't dyed my hair like I'd planned to; I hadn't had the balls but I did have those creepy contacts that make you look like a cat.

I went over to another table, trying my best to avoid Dallas Winston. I had barely looked at the other guy and it hadn't occurred to me it could be another one of the gang or someone else from my past. Was it Tim Shepard? Or Two-Bit? Or even Ponyboy?

I was watching them out of the corner of my eye the entire night when suddenly they called me over so they could order. Someone else had joined them. Dallas, Ponyboy, and Steve were all sitting there. Ponyboy looked scared to be in this place, Steve was enjoying the ladies, and Dallas looked determined, as if he was trying to find something or someone.

Then it hit me; they were looking for _me_.

I had to go over there though because I'd get in shit or fired if I didn't. I walked over with my biggest, plastered smile on my face and Dallas glowered at me the entire time. It kind of hurt, actually. I took their order, three beers.

When Dallas pulled me into his lap I almost stiffened. Tons of guys had, of course, pulled me into their lap that night but when Dally pulled me into his I was sure he realized who I was. I was so scared I almost started to shake but I had much more control over myself than I used to. I did, however, have to bite my lip. I saw my best friend who was dancing in front of us give me a questioning look but I just slightly shook my head.

"Hello," Dallas started, "Do you know anyone by the name Rebecca Brown?" I grimaced, wanted to tell him.

"I've heard of her. I think she dances here. But I don't really know who she is," I replied. It is very hard to sit on the lap of Dallas Winston and not kiss him but I restrained myself.

"Are you sure," Dallas asked, "That you don't know her?"

I let myself slip into the way I was at the moment and mentally cursed myself when I cried, "Did I stutter?"I was kicking myself in my head. That could get me recognized.

Dally squinted harder at me and then a look of realization veiled his face. I tried to run away but he grasped me back. "Rebecca," he whispered, "Becca."

"My shift is almost done, okay? Only five more minutes, _then_ we'll talk," I growled.

After my shift, which was only five more minutes, I walked past the guys shoving a fake fingernail towards the window. I was pissed. They shoulda known better than to come and find me. I didn't want to go back. I had a job, a crappy one but still a job, I had friends, I had a house. I couldn't go back now.

At least Two-Bit had stayed true to his word and not come to look for me but I was just pissed at everyone at that moment. I pulled my leather jacket off when we got to my apartment. I was really mad and hadn't said anything yet.

"What," I nearly screamed as I stomped up the stairs to my door, "Are you guys fucking doing here?"

"We were looking for you. Obviously," Steve replied and I rolled my eyes and silently started praying to God for a huge meteor to come and hit this part of the Earth right then.

I growled menacingly as we reached my door. "Lookit," I said, "I'm tired and I'm going to bed. Grab the couch, the chair, or the floor. Don't let Ponyboy sleep on the floor since he is the only one today who hasn't said anything in particular to piss me off, alright?"

I headed to my bedroom and I knew Dallas was behind me. When I stopped to open my door he grabbed me around the waist. I nearly melted or broke down or something. It had been really hard for me to let go of them, especially Dallas, and here they come, waltzing back in? They couldn't do this to me.

Dallas was whispering softly in my ear, telling me how much he'd missed me, and how he wanted to make love to me that night, then trailed kisses down my neck. Just this once, I told myself. I turned around, knowing that I couldn't resist him and fell into his arms, kissing him passionately.

I opened my door, still kissing the blonde. We landed softly in my bed, him on top of me and we did what I'd been wanting to do with Dallas Winston for a very long time.

I didn't sleep at all that night. I turned around to face Dally in my bed and slowly ran my hands through his blonde hair. I kissed him softly on his cheek and smiled.

"Dallas Winston," I whispered, knowing he couldn't here me, "I-I think I love you. I've loved a lot of people in my life but never like I love you. Because the beaches may wash away, the oceans may dry, and the sun may dim but on that day I'll still love you." **(A/N-FOR YOU GENA!)**

I slowly got out of bed, pulling on some clothes. I stepped out into the hallway, careful not to wake Dally, closing the door. I walked into my kitchen, my favourite room of the house. I smiled at Ponyboy, sitting there, reading the paper.

"Mornin'," he said and I nodded, pouring myself a cup of coffee.

"How have ya been, Pony? I've missed you," I replied, surprising even myself. I thought back to who I used to be. I used to be so kind…What am I now? I turned on the radio as if were an automatic action. Every morning I turn on the radio, just like my mother.

"I've been…fine. A friend of mine, well I haven't seen him for years, just died. Shot by the police. He was goin' to kill his old best friend who turned him in to the police in the first place. He stopped a couplea guys in this truck and was gonna kill 'em," he said, as if this was nothing.

"Oh," I whispered, "How're your brothers? And the rest of the gang?"

"Sodapop and Steve…They went to Vietnam. Soda didn't come back. Steve hasn't been the same since, you know. I think Soda was one of the few things he actually had. We been becoming friends, me and him. He says I remind him of Soda. Two-Bit's doin' real good. He quit drinking and is gonna get married soon. She's a brunette. Darry's doin' good too. He owns the roofin' business now and his first baby's on the way. He wanted to invite you to the wedding but you know, we couldn't find you. Johnny's living with this sweet little girl and her daughter."

"I-I'm sorry about Sodapop. I wish I'd known. He was a good man, you know. I'm glad Two-Bit, Johnny, and Darry are doin' good. Maybe I'll try to talk to Steve," I exclaimed, "What—what about Dallas?"

"He hasn't been with anyone since you left. He really misseda you. Swear if it wasn't for Johnny he woulda killed himself. It was really hard when you left."

"You changed Ponyboy. In a good way, of course. So who was it? Who was your first time?"

"What?" The tips of his ears turned pink and I grinned.

"Who did you lose your virginity to!"

"Um, her name was Cathy," he mumbled and I started laughing. I ruffled his hair. Was I becoming my old self again? I couldn't tell. Then Dallas showed up in the doorway wearing only a pair of jeans, his blonde hair still messed up.

"You know," he growled, "You didn't have to say I love you so cheesily." I grinned at him and he smiled at me, pushing his lips onto mine. I couldn't stop smiling. I got exactly what I wanted.

"I've been waiting to give this to you," Dallas said, pulling out a tiny green box. An engagement ring.

We were married two weeks later, in only a tiny wedding. We called the rest of the gang up and they came. I brought my best girl friend from the club. We moved back to Tulsa after that.

I've never been happier.

**THE END**

Okay, I'd like to thank all my reviewers because you guys rock socks. I love you. I might be writing another story soon but I'm not sure. Please review on this last chapter! Love forever.

--have fun


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